You’re Moving In Together, Now What?

After many thoughtful conversations, it’s time… You’ve decided to move in together. Congrats! That’s not a small decision. Whether you’ve been dating for some time or you’ve known each other since high school, moving into a home together is a major milestone. The idea of waking up together, cooking dinner, and binge-watching shows under one roof can be very exciting. While the honeymoon phase of cohabiting may feel like a dream come true, real life can show up rather quickly once the moving boxes start showing up.

While many people live by the mantra that “everything will just work out,” when it comes to moving, it’s far better to start with a plan and adjust as needed than to have no plan at all. What happens when topics like laundry, splitting rent, and cleaning come up? REMAX offers up some tips and conversations to have when deciding to move-in together. Think of it as an unofficial pre-move-in checklist for sanity, harmony, and hopefully fewer arguments about dish duty.

1. Who’s Doing What?

Talking about chores isn’t exactly romantic. However, nothing kills the vibe faster than passive-aggressive texts about taking out the garbage or washing dishes. Living together with your partner means managing a household together. That includes all the not so glamorous tasks such as scrubbing the toilet, walking the dog, and remembering which day is recycling day. One person can’t (and shouldn’t) carry all the weight of chores on their shoulders. Before moving day, it’s a great idea to figure out and talk about a system that works for everyone.

If one of you is the better cook or one of you likes to clean more, divvy up tasks that work for you. One of you is handier than the other? That person can help unclog the sink, while you’re making them a meal or vice versa. Splitting up tasks can help prevent resentment from creeping in later. Pro tip: Check in again a few weeks after move-in. Is the split still feeling fair? Anything need to be adjusted? Relationships evolve, and your living arrangement should too.

2. Let’s Talk Money (Before It Gets Awkward)

Money in any situation can be a stressful conversation no matter the topic at hand. When it comes to moving in together, money is a huge part of that life. Talk about money as honestly as possible and hide nothing. Do you have debt? Student loans? What are your individual expenses? What’s your credit like? These are all questions that need to be discussed no matter how awkward the conversation may be.

You don’t necessarily need to open a joint account on day one, but you do need to understand each other’s financial picture and agree on how to share the cost of living. A setup that tends to work would be to have individual accounts for yourselves and then a “house account” to split those expenses such as mortgage payments, utilities, and groceries. This way, you both contribute to the shared account while still maintaining your own financial independence. It also makes tracking household expenses way easier. It can reduce the chances of those awkward “wait, didn’t you say you paid the electric bill?” moments. Try to decide upfront who’s going to manage what. Maybe one of you is better at organizing payments or budgeting. That’s great, just make sure there’s transparency and regular check-ins so no one feels out of the loop.

3. Personal Space Can Be Important

Every relationship is different and some need more personal space than others. That being said, even the most compatible couples need a bit of breathing room every now and then.  Moving in together means adjusting to the reality that you’ll be together a lot. While that can be wonderful in many circumstances, it can also be a lot. That’s why, creating personal space intentionally can be very helpful.

Maybe it’s a corner in the room, maybe it’s a workspace, or maybe it’s even a man or woman cave. Whatever it looks like, the goal is to allow each other to recharge in their own way. Having some time apart isn’t a sign that something is wrong, it’s a sign that you respect each other’s individuality, which in turn, can ultimately bring you both closer together.

4. Ways to Handle Conflict

Here’s a very obvious truth bomb: even the happiest of couples fight. One of the worst things you can do as a couple is avoid conflict. One of you wants to buy a home in a rural area and the other in the city? The key is compromise. Maybe a suburban neighborhood close to both nature and the city could work for both parties. Part of the problem when living together is that you can’t just go home to cool off because well, you both live there.

It’s worth talking about how to handle tension before it happens. Do you need space when you’re upset? Are you someone who needs to talk it out right away? It may seem unnecessary when you’re not discussing whether the thermostat is too high but it can help you prepare for those situations.

5. Keep the Romance Alive

It’s very easy to fall into a routine when you move in together. That may be comforting to some, however it could feel a bit mundane eventually. Your life now revolves around running errands, taking care of the houseplants and a garden, plus chores and more.

Try to plan weekly or bi-weekly date nights. Even if that just means homemade pizza and a movie. You’re not just roommates, you’re partners building a life together. Don’t let the hustle of “real life” get in the way of what’s most important – your love for each other.

Preparing for the Move

We can’t promise that everything will go smoothly while you’re moving in with your partner. In fact, we can almost guarantee that something will go wrong one way or another. There will be messy and quick mornings, disputes over chores, and probably some tears along the way. There will also be precious memories made, laughter, and fun times as well. Having these conversations about moving ahead of time can save you some of those tears and emotions when tensions are high.

Set clear expectations, have a way to cope with conflict, and know that at the end of the day, you’re both in this together. Building a home together is more than just buying a house, it’s about creating a life that feels good and works for both of you.